


I’m Not Particularly Religious but the Cute Guy I Sit Next to in English Drew a Dog on  My Paper to Cheer Me Up and I’m Convinced He’s an Angel

by engwand



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Autism Spectrum, Genderfluid Character, M/M, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:53:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23654896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/engwand/pseuds/engwand
Summary: Sensory overloads are a bitch. Sometimes all it takes is a drawing of a dog on your school notes by the cute guy you sit next to in class to make everything better.
Relationships: America/England (Hetalia), Denmark/Norway (Hetalia)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 66





	I’m Not Particularly Religious but the Cute Guy I Sit Next to in English Drew a Dog on  My Paper to Cheer Me Up and I’m Convinced He’s an Angel

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this to spite one of my teachers for being lowkey ableist

Most people are relatively unaffected when it comes to extreme levels of the five senses, it’s considered a normal part of life and the majority are immune to it. Some believe those things to be the equivalent of having a nightmare while conscious. Arthur, sadly, fell into the second category and he loathed every aspect of it. 

  
Having a sensitivity to touch, sight, smells and sound was an every day struggle and impossible to avoid. It wasn’t just being vulnerable to sensory input, but feeling and hearing everything all at once. It was the pounding in your head and the ringing in your ears. The inability to focus on anything other than the physical pain of processing floods of information inside your head. As limiting as this was, Arthur wished it was that only problem he had. Sensory issues were just one symptom of a disorder his parents refused to believe he had. 

  
Generally the sensory part was just a nuisance to him, irritating but somewhat manageable. Others times this problem was overbearing in certain settings. Places such as high school was filled with excessive amounts of mental stimulation, it’s inevitable if the teen wanted to graduate. Being subdued in a sea of fluorescent lighting and students who don’t know when to shut their mouth was a personal hell created specially for him.

  
Arthur entered his fourth period feeling already emotionally exhausted from the previous classes from that day. Luckily, this class in particular was ruled by a well hearted but strict teacher. She didn’t allow talking if it was deemed unnecessary, a rule only Arthur would thank her for. Less talking meant less noise, one obstacle was temporarily lifted. 

  
He immediately wanted to cave into himself upon seeing an unfamiliar adult in place of his teacher. A substitute, one that looked like he wanted to leave more than the students did. Arthur stopped himself from walking right back out. A non caring substitute was a guaranteed 50 minutes of people talking, yelling, and screaming. The blonde was damned as he sat down in his unofficially assigned seat. 

  
It was a front row table that was shared with a boy who rarely interacted with Arthur. He knew Arthur's reluctance of speaking and respected that, which was nice. Arthur felt guilty for not remembering the guy’s name, the only thing he did know about him was that he tended to pat rhythmic beats onto his thigh while he drew cartoon dogs all over his notes, liked to play _Animal Crossing_ during break, and never seemed to sit still (a habit he and Arthur shared). Also that he had the facial structure that was sculpted by an artist, which was more of personal observance. Arthur actually loved _Animal Crossing,_ but felt that over sharing his passionate views on a videogame that’s essentially about bonding with animal villagers through mutual gifts to not even an acquaintance would be embarrassing.

  
The late bell rang and brought Arthur back to reality. He forgot he was currently in school, his neighbor was really damn distracting for someone that minded his business. The assignment was to read the textbook and take notes but of course no one was going to do that. Even his table partner slipped headphones over his ears and started to mindlessly doodle over the back of his notebook. Chattering between friends began, Arthur forced himself to pay attention to the open textbook in front of him.   
The volume of the classroom increased within minutes, the sub paying no attention to the growing loudness. God, he hated substitutes. Conversations around him seemed to blend together as Arthur attempted to read about literary elements. It only got louder, like they were making a competition out of it. Someone in the last row gave out a deafening laugh. The words on the page began to blur and he buried his face into his hands as a sign of defeat. 

  
“ _Shut the fuck up._ ” Arthur groaned into his palms, not really intended for anyone to hear. An ignored request. 

  
A girl yelled something that vaguely resembled the English language, Arthur’s hands clasped over his ears like a natural reflex. He couldn’t tell if the room was shaking or he was. The light strained his eyes and the talking was no longer talking, but a high pitched ringing trembling throughout his body that responded by slowly rocking back and forth. The teen looked pitiful. 

  
Then something inside him urged Arthur that this wasn’t enough. He needed to get up, to leave the class. He decided to not ignore the impulse. But should he ask the sub? No, he knew he wasn’t capable. He knew his shutdowns left him almost completely mute. He stood, yanked the bathroom pass from the wall and walked out. An excuse, he thought to himself as he rubbed circles into the slab of wood with fading sharpie. He would probably get a splinter. 

  
The nearest bathroom was vacant, Arthur shook his hands in spastic motions with the given privacy. Others thought it was weird, but the movement helped. The release of energy through what could be perceived as vigorous hand fanning kept the pent up energy inside him from exploding like shattered glass all over the tile floor. He soon stopped, tired. The reflection of a sickly boy looked back at him, viridescent eyes jaded over. Fingers grazed his colorless cheeks, he was unrecognizable. 

  
_My table partner is probably sick of me not being able to handle one fucking class day_. Negative thoughts impaled his brain with a rusty knife, self loathing was a ruthless bitch. Arthur’s pale features stared head on, past himself. The sight didn’t look like Arthur. 

  
“Pathetic.” He said to the stranger anyway, and waited, waited for the overload to cease. He headed back to English three minutes before the bell, no one giving attention to him as he returned to his space. Unnoticed, the sub didn’t even realize he was gone. He was missing for 35 minutes.

  
 _Figured_.

  
He began to put his belongings back inside his backpack, no point in attempting to bullshit notes for the last few minutes. As Arthur reached for the fairly untouched notebook, his eyes caught what appeared to be a cloud from his line of vision. A cloud, drawn on the right corner of his notebook page. The teen's unkempt brows furrowed, he didn’t normally draw clouds. His note doodles mainly consisted of hearts, stars, and aggressive blotches of ink. Arthur picked up the notebook to get a closer look. 

  
It wasn’t a cloud, but a dog. Specifically, a cartoon-esque fluffy Pomeranian. The little dog's tongue stuck out of his rounded mouth, simplistic yet cute. The drawing was like the ones his neighbor did so often, but this one was on his notebook. Beside the Pomeranian, was writing not done by Arthur’s hand. 

_‘I hope u feel better soon! I know sensory overloads are rlly inconvenient and can leave u feelin drained, take ur time to charge back up again when they happen, I believe in u!! – ur table neighbor :^)’_

  
Arthur’s head turned just as the bell rung to see his neighbor looking at him, as if he was patiently waiting for him to read the note. The boy registered that Arthur saw the note, smiled warmly at him, and headed to the cafeteria. Arthur’s chest burned the entirety of his walk to the courtyard. 

  
The rigid blonde slumped down into one of the outside benches where his two closest friends sat across from him. Not saying anything, Arthur let his head fall to the wooden surface, emitting a soft but noticeable bang for his friends to hear. Call him dramatic. 

  
“Did you have another shutdown today?” asked Lukas, Arthur’s best friend who was rather notorious for showing up to school every day in clothes that screamed ‘ _Try me bitch, my daddy's a lawyer_ '. Lukas was the type of person you would find on one of those reality TV shows about rich housewives, and yet they were the most caring person Arthur has ever met. Contrary to the actual rich housewives. Vlad on the other hand was the complete opposite appearance wise, he lived in dark clothing and had the vibes of someone whose been arrested at least twice. Arthur was friends with _Channel_ and _Hot Topic._

  
Arthur yelled something inaudible into the table as a response. Lukas sighed at the sight while Vlad poked him with a stick he found on the ground. 

  
“Arthur, you seriously need to talk to your parents about this, and I mean really talk. No arguing this time.” Arthur sat up slowly and glared at the pile of sticks Vlad had created. He hated bringing up this topic. 

  
“Thanks, but I’d rather staple my hands together.” He groaned yet again for good measure. “I’ve already talked to them and they just dismiss me. They find every fucking excuse they can to make me seem like I’m lying to them. They already don’t believe I’m trans when I came out to them three years ago, you really think they’re ever going to believe their child is autistic as well?”

  
 _They wouldn’t want an autistic child_ , Arthur’s negative thoughts protruded, _to them, you’re just a shy and confused teenage girl._ He shook his head and changed the subject. 

  
“Besides, something else happened in English. The guy I sit next to drew me a dog and I think I’m in love with him now.” His friends stared at him. 

  
“Arthur I think you might have really low standards, and that’s saying something coming from me.” Vlad said almost too casually as he chipped black nail polish off his fingers.

  
“Well,” Arthur muttered, “not, not like literally in love just- that’s not all that happened.” 

  
Arthur explained what all that went down, everything about the boy he didn’t know who treated him as if they were on first name basis. His body warmed from remembering the boy's smile, it was so genuine.

“The thing I don’t understand is,” Arthur touched his fingers to his cheeks to cool them, “I’ve never told him anything about me, and yet he knew exactly what had happened.”

  
Lukas seemed to think deeply for a few minutes before speaking again. “I’m not sure if this is a stretch, but do you think that maybe he’s-?”

  
The platinum blonde was cut off abruptly by a pair of toned arms grasping their shoulders. Lukas jumped and spun around to the face the culprit. “Mathias!” They swatted at their boyfriend. “You know not to startle me like that.”

  
Mathias smiled innocently, “Sorry, you forgot your jacket in homeroom.” 

  
Lukas’ faked anger evaporated as they stood up to retrieve their jacket and hug the muscular boy. He had the body of someone that could kill, a fact that borderline scared Arthur as Mathias' hand alone could crush his ribcage. Of course he knew that would never actually happen for Lukas' boyfriend was a huge softie. He would probably call the cops on himself if he ever accidentally stepped on his pet’s foot. 

  
“Awe, thank you babe.” Lukas kissed the corner of Mathias' mouth. 

  
“You’re welcome babe.” Mathias smiled and returned the gesture. 

  
“You guys are embarrassing.” Arthur faked a gag. 

  
“Arthur, you just said you were in love with a guy that showed you basic human decency. How embarrassing are we really?” Vlad let out a noise that sounded like what middle school boys would do after they witnessed someone get dragged. 

  
“It was an exaggeration.” Arthur bit back, to convince not only Lukas but himself too. 

  
Mathias perked up at this information, almost like a puppy. “Whoa, Arthur you like someone? What does he look like? I enjoy knowing things.” He slid next to Vlad, Lukas sat back down as well. 

  
“He, um, he has golden brown hair and tanned skin,” _Like caramel_ , “He wears glasses, is unfairly attractive and likes to play _Animal Crossing_ a lot.” Arthur internally cursed himself, that wasn’t much of a description. 

  
“Wait, you mean Alfred?” Mathias questioned. “I know him! We once had an in depth discussion about how dogs always greet their owners with excitement, even if they weren’t gone for long. I cried a little, dogs are just _so good_ , yknow?” The taller boy clenched his fist to his chest with such emotion that Arthur feared he was going to bawl right here. 

  
“You should talk to him,” Lukas commented, “You said he likes _Animal Crossing_ , maybe bond with him over that?”

  
Arthur paused, going over the scenario in his head. “Possibly, but what if I accidentally go on a rant about how Apollo is more of a father than my actual father? He’s a fucking eagle I can’t say that about him.”

  
“He's a sexy eagle.” Vlad added. Everyone stared at him, he stared back. “I’ll keep saying it until you all accept the truth.”

  
There was a moment of silence. Arthur was thinking and both Lukas and Mathias were unsure of how to respond to Vlad. The sound of Arthur anxiously tapping his fingers on the aged wood echoed through the courtyard. He was grateful for the secluded area that rarely had other visitors. 

  
“They say I make everything up for attention, my parents.” Arthur finally spoke. “It makes me feel like some sort of fraud.”

  
Lukas sighed and took Arthur's hands into their own. “I know it’s hard my dear, I can tell you from experience, but you’re nowhere near a fraud. Your parents are just very stubborn people.”

  
“And they’re the worst.” Vlad chimed in, Lukas nodded. 

  
“And they’re the worst. As for the situation with Alfred, try just thanking him for the little note. You don’t have to say anything else if you’re not comfortable.” They let go of Arthur hands as the bell rang, lunch was over. 

  
The next day in English, Arthur felt on edge for a reason that didn’t include his sensory issues. He didn’t know how to start a conversation with Alfred. This was going to eat him alive if he didn’t at least attempt. Halfway through the class the teacher announced break, this was his chance. 

  
“Um,” He started, he sounded like a kicked child.

“Hey, hey Alfred?”

  
His neighbor looked right at him. Good, so that was his name.

  
Arthur swallowed his uneasiness. “I wanted to ah, thank you, for the note. It was nice.” Every word felt like needles in the blonde's throat, he was never skilled at this whole talking thing. 

  
Alfred blinked once, twice. “Oh!” He finally cried out, his lips curled into a smile. Smiling looked good on him.

  
“No problem at all! I saw that you were having a bad time and I wanted you to know that you weren’t alone on it. I’m actually not sure if it was an overload or not, I hope I didn’t just assume.” He laughed nervously as he twirled his pencil around his fingers. 

  
Arthur stared, ten different emotions flowing through him at once. “No, it was an overload. If I may ask, how did you know?”

  
“It looked a lot like what I do during sensory overloads. I used to get them almost daily but thanks to occupational therapy I can handle the noise and stuff a lil' better. I still get them, just not as often.” Alfred taps the side of his headphones, “I like to have these with me to be safe.”

  
It was Arthur’s turn to blink. “Are you-?”

  
“On the spectrum?” Alfred finished. “Yeah! Been diagnosed since nine. Most don’t believe me when I tell them. So many people make fun of autism that if you don’t fit the exact stereotype, no one really thinks you have it. But I guess that goes for any disorder.”

  
“I get what you mean, my own parents don’t believe me or the doctors.” 

  
“You should eat them.” Alfred smirked. 

  
Arthur smiled, really smiled. “I don’t believe I can do that, cannibalism is frowned upon in this society.”  
Alfred laughed, something that others wouldn’t have done at that sentence. It made Arthur's body fill with the same warmth from yesterday. He felt confident. 

  
“I saw that you like to play _Animal Crossing_ a lot,” Arthur thought back to the times he secretly watched Alfred hum to himself while his avatar shook trees for their fruit. “I actually really enjoy that game. It’s calming to me and the design is adorable.” 

  
Alfred beamed, patting his hands rapidly against his knees in excitement. “I’m in love with _Animal Crossing!_ It’s so simple and nice and the villagers make me so happy! My favorite is Apollo, I love how he gives off the vibes of a dad, which is funny since he's an eagle. I just love animals in general, I would give every one of them a smooch.” Alfred radiated happiness as he expressed his interest through hand movement and bubbly laughter. 

  
It was absolutely beautiful. 

  
“Ah, I’m sorry if I’m rambling too much. I tend to do that sometimes.” Alfred gave another one of his wholehearted smiles. 

  
“No, it’s fine.” Arthur assured him, it was more than fine. Arthur had no idea Alfred talked this much, and he didn’t mind it at all. 

  
The rest of the class passed in a fog, neither teen cared much about what they missed. When lunch rolled around, Arthur greeted his friends with a new conflict. Not necessarily one that troubled him. 

  
“I talked to Alfred today, and I think I want to marry him.” Arthur watched as all three occupants of the table stared at him as if he were the word overdramatic personified. 

  
“Just a little bit.” He added, only slightly exaggerating. 


End file.
